Crash Into Me sd-1 Read online

  It was humiliating. And somehow so much worse than if he actually had realized what was going on inside of her. At least then she would know he saw her as a person, as someone beyond his best friend’s little sister. As it stood, she felt more like the band’s asexual mascot than the sexy, desirable woman she so wanted to be for him. To him. It was doubly humiliating when she considered the fact that that groupie had been so certain she could get him into bed. That she could satisfy him. What did some heavily made-up little tart have that she didn’t, Jamison wondered bitterly. Besides the ability to attract Ryder, that is?

  Ryder signaled for another round of shots, then scooted between Jared and her to rest his elbows on the bar. He was turned away from her, talking to Jared, but suddenly she couldn’t stand to be close to him. To have his body brushing carelessly, meaninglessly, against her own when she was still so wound up she wanted to beg him to touch her. Not that she would ever do that, she assured herself. If Ryder didn’t want her then there wasn’t a chance she was going to beg for it.

  The bartender placed three shots of Patron down in front of them, and before she could think about what she was doing, Jamison slammed them back, one after the other. Her head spun as she slapped the last glass onto the counter and she realized Jared and Ryder were both staring at her, wide-eyed.

  Forcing a grin she was far from feeling, she sent them a what’s-the-problem look. At that moment the DJ—bless his heart—spun out a Beyoncé song from a couple of years before and she turned toward the front of the club. “I want to dance,” she tossed over her shoulder as she made her way to the crowded dance floor.

  Now that she was walking, the room was spinning like a top, and it took every ounce of concentration she had not to stumble as she weaved through the crush of bodies. But she was determined to make a dignified exit—she could feel their eyes on her and there was no way she was going to look like some stupid kid who couldn’t hold her liquor in front of Ryder.

  Even if it were true.

  Micah was leaving the dance floor as she got there, towing a cute blonde in a hot pink dress behind him. She waved at him, and he wagged a finger back and forth between him and her—asking if she wanted him to stay with her. She did, but she didn’t want to cramp his style either. The blonde definitely didn’t look like she wanted to share.

  So Jamison just shook her head and burrowed into the crowd on the dance floor. She didn’t stop until she was practically in the middle, and then she closed her eyes and started to move. Just because she couldn’t have Ryder didn’t mean she couldn’t have a good time.

  …

  “You aren’t really going to leave her alone out there, are you?” Ryder demanded of Jared. The crowd was thick, especially on the dance floor, but Jamison’s red hair made her unmistakable. His jaw—and body—clenched as she tilted her head back and moved to the music. She wasn’t the most scantily dressed woman out there, and he knew objectively that she might not be considered the most beautiful. But she was to him. He was mesmerized, couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

  She was dancing like the song was meant for her, shoulders swaying and curvy hips swinging in perfect synchronicity with the catchy lyrics. Her crazy corkscrew curls were flying in every direction, and the look on her face was sexy as hell. Eyes closed, cheeks flushed, full, crimson-slicked lips parted invitingly, she looked like a goddess.

  When she leaned back, shaking out her hair in time to the music, he realized he wasn’t the only guy in the place who had noticed. A bunch of the men on the dance floor—even some who were dancing with other women—were looking at her like she was a shiny present they couldn’t wait to unwrap. It made him crazy. Nearly as crazy as brushing against her full, soft breasts had made him earlier.

  He shouldn’t have done it. He’d known it at the time, but he hadn’t been able to help himself. Reaching for the lime had just been an excuse. He’d wanted to touch her, to feel all that softness pressed up against him if even for a minute. He’d meant to tease her a little bit, but all he’d ended up doing was torturing himself.

  Which was nuts. She was one of his closest friends in the world, not to mention his best friend’s baby sister, and he had no business noticing how lush her breasts were. How curvy her ass was. How long her legs were. He’d known her since she wore pigtails and played with Barbies. Thinking about how much he liked the way she looked was sick. Twisted.

  As was sitting there as a bunch of men lusted after her. She’d already gotten into trouble once today. He’d be damned if he sat by and watched while it happened again.

  “You’re really not going to do anything?” he again demanded of Jared, who seemed more interested in his drink than he was in keeping Jamison safe.

  “And get my ass handed to me?” Jared asked with a smirk. “You know how she gets if I interfere too much. Besides, Wyatt and Quinn are out there. They’ve got her back.”

  Ryder turned around, scanned the crowd near where Jamison was dancing. Sure enough, his drummer and keyboardist had ditched the women they’d been hanging with and had started dancing with Jamison instead. It should have made him feel better, did make him feel better. At least until the music changed to a slow song and she threw her arms around Quinn’s neck and whispered in his ear.

  Quinn laughed at whatever she told him, then settled his hands on her waist and pulled her close. Too close, in Ryder’s opinion, but a glance at Jared—who was totally relaxed as he nursed a beer—told him he might be overreacting a little. The knowledge did nothing to cool his blood, or the sudden urge he had to break his bandmate’s fingers. Who cared if they were at the beginning of a worldwide tour? The guy didn’t actually need his fingers to play the keyboard, did he?

  Feeling like an idiot for being so overprotective, yet unable to do anything about it, Ryder turned to the bartender to order another drink. When the shot came, he tossed it back, gestured for another. It was going to be a bad night—was already a bad night—and after years of them, he knew getting shit-faced was the only way he was going to make it through.

  Except, when he turned back to the dance floor, Quinn was making his way back toward the bar and Jamison was slow-dancing with someone else.

  Someone who wasn’t Wyatt or Micah.

  Someone who looked like he was seconds away from putting his hands all over Jamison’s sexy ass. She wasn’t pushing him away, but she’d had way too much to drink tonight, so it wasn’t like her judgment synapses were firing on all cylinders. Jared might be too stupid to figure out his sister was in trouble, but Ryder wasn’t going to make that mistake ever again.

  Adrenaline roared through him and he was halfway across the club before he even realized what he was doing.

  The asshole on the dance floor had moved his hands so that they rested on Jamison’s lower back. It wouldn’t be long before he moved them lower still. Ryder grabbed onto Jamison’s elbow as soon as he reached her. “My turn,” he said, spinning her to face him.

  “Hey!” The jerk she’d been dancing with started to object, but Ryder didn’t give him a chance. He snarled, “Get lost!” at the same time he shoved the loser hard in the chest. The guy’s fists clenched and for a minute, it looked like he was going to come after Ryder. But a well-placed glare had him turning tail and slinking back into the crowd he’d come from.

  Ryder smiled grimly. Sometimes looking like a badass really did pay off.

  And sometimes it didn’t. He turned to find Jamison staring at him, a furious look on her face. “What are you doing?” she demanded, voice about three octaves higher than it normally was.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m dancing!”

  “You’re drunk.”

  “So what?”

  “That guy had his hands all over you!”

  She narrowed her eyes, tossed all of that glorious hair, and it took every ounce of self-control he had not to reach out and touch it. Not to wrap it around his fist and tug her closer to him. Not to—

  He shifted uncom
fortably as his cock grew hard. Damn it. What the hell was wrong with him?

  “It’s called dancing!”

  He saw red, even as he shot her a disbelieving look. “Yeah, well it looked like an invitation to fuck to me.”

  She blanched. “You’re being a real jerk.”

  “And you’re being careless. You don’t know these guys. You can’t trust them.”

  “I just wanted to dance.” Her voice shook a little and her amethyst eyes were nearly incandescent with rage. And something else. Something that looked a lot like hurt. It made him feel like a total prick for throwing what had happened earlier in her face. He’d wanted to protect her, not hurt her. She was his friend, Jared’s little sister. It was his job to look out for her. Wasn’t it?

  He glanced back at the bar, where Jared was deep in conversation with Quinn. But if Jared wasn’t concerned, why should he be? Jamison was entitled to have a little fun, wasn’t she? Especially after the evening she’d had.

  Of course she was. He stepped back, thrust a frustrated hand through his hair. “Sorry,” he muttered. “I made a mistake.” Except it hadn’t felt like a mistake. Getting that guy’s hands off Jamison had felt as necessary as breathing.

  He shook his head to clear it. He needed another drink. Badly.

  “You aren’t just going to leave me out here alone, are you?” Jamison grabbed onto the back waistband of his jeans. “I still need a dance partner.”

  He froze. Her fingers were brushing against his lower back, setting off all kinds of sensations deep inside of him. “I need a drink,” he told her, refusing to turn around.

  “And I need to dance.”

  She let go of his waistband and Ryder breathed a sigh of…relief? Disappointment? He couldn’t tell. At least not until her arms wrapped around his waist and she splayed herself against him. He nearly groaned at the feel of her breasts pressed against his back. What the hell was she up to? And then she started to move, swaying softly to the ballad that had just started.

  It was one of theirs: “Entice.” He and Wyatt had written the lyrics during a three day bender—after Wyatt had broken up with his girlfriend—and Ryder had added the music about a week later. It was a favorite of his. A favorite of a lot of people, it seemed, since it was currently sitting at number three on the charts after a seventeen week run at number one.

  He’d heard the song a million times, had analyzed every word in the verses he’d helped put together, but this was the first time he’d really connected with the chorus Wyatt had insisted upon.

  I push, you pull.

  I walk. You run.

  I reach for you and you slip away.

  Why do you entice me so?

  Why do you Eentice me so? I’m stunned. I’m stunned. I’m stunned.

  It was surreal standing here, listening to his voice as he sang about the same emotions that were currently ripping through him. “What are you doing, Jamison?” he demanded, turning to face her.

  “What do you mean?”

  He started to snap at her, to tell her not to mess with his head. But her eyes were slightly unfocused and this time when she swayed, he knew it had a lot more to do with the tequila she’d consumed than the music currently blasting through the club. He couldn’t be angry with her when she was drunk, and he couldn’t blame her for being drunk after what had happened earlier. Which meant there was only one thing he could do. Dance with her. Because there was no way he was leaving her out here, vulnerable to any jerk who wanted to take advantage. Jared could act as unconcerned as he wanted, but he knew the second Jamison started grabbing on to strangers the way she was currently grabbing on to him, her big brother would be all over that shit. It seemed…expedient to just dance with her himself and keep things on an even keel.

  Gritting his teeth, he turned back to Jamison. Took her in his arms. And did his damnedest not to notice how sweet she smelled. Or how soft she was. Or how perfect her body felt pressed against his own.

  She rested her head on his shoulder—he was suddenly, absurdly grateful for the five-inch heels she wore that enabled her to do that. She was tall for a woman, about five-eight in her bare feet. But he was six-foot-five and it wasn’t often he could just bend his head and place his cheek on a woman’s head. He did it now, savoring the sweet peaches-and-cream scent of her and the way her crazy hair tickled his nose.

  “Thanks,” she murmured.

  “For what?”

  “For this.” She sighed. “No one’s ever worried about me before. It feels kind of nice.”

  He stiffened. “Jared worries about you.”

  “That’s not the same thing. He’s my brother. He has to worry.”

  “And what am I?” He held his breath, unsure of what her answer would be. Suddenly unsure of what he wanted it to be.

  She pulled back, looked up at him with wide, shimmering eyes. “You’re Ryder.”

  He tamped down on the frustration—and the arousal—raging through him. “What does that mean?”

  “You see who I really am instead of what you want to see.” She sighed, snuggled back into him. “Just like I see you.”

  He froze at her words, at the implication that she saw all the things he wanted to hide. The thought pissed him off, terrified him. But it also turned him on—he hated to admit that, but it wasn’t like he could deny it while his dick grew impossibly harder by the second. He shifted away, not wanting Jamison to feel how she affected him.

  She stumbled as he moved his hips back, fell against him. He gritted his teeth, started to move back a second time. But again, she flopped against him.

  Anger ripped through him. Why was she doing this? Did she really want to drive him crazy? He put his hands on her shoulders, nudged her back so he could see her face. And that’s when it hit him. He was an idiot.

  Jamison wasn’t deliberately trying to get close to him, wasn’t trying to make him want her at all. All the while he’d been lusting after her, she’d been so drunk that she’d passed out cold in the middle of the dance floor.

  Chapter Four

  Jamison woke up in the dark, with a pounding headache, a fuzzy brain, and absolutely no idea of where she was. The last thing she remembered was downing three shots of tequila in a row. She had a fuzzy recollection of dancing with Wyatt and Quinn some time afterward, but that was it. There were no memories of how the night had ended or how she’d gotten to wherever she currently was.

  She should have been panicking—and any other time she probably would have. But she’d been with Shaken Dirty last night. There was no way her brother or Ryder, or the others, would have let anything happen to her. And there was no way they would have let her do something stupid like go home with some strange guy.

  Groaning, she rolled over and buried her face in one of the pillows. Ugh. And her friends from college had wondered why she didn’t like to party? Who wanted to be so out of control that they couldn’t remember anything they’d said or done the night before? Or worse, so out of control that they’d had to entrust their own safety to someone else? It was humiliating, especially considering what had almost happened to her backstage last night.

  Face still buried in the pillow, she tried to make sense of the shattered edges of her consciousness. She definitely remembered dancing with Wyatt. She’d flirted with Micah, she thought, though she couldn’t recall anything that had been said. And she’d…slow-danced with Ryder? The thought had her shaking all over again, trepidation swamping her as she wondered what she’d said. What she’d done. Whether she would be able to look him in the eye once it got light or not. She’d spent years hiding her feelings for him. The idea that she had blown all that in one night was horrifying.

  But no matter how hard she tried to remember, nothing came to her. It was like the memories were there, buried beneath a pile of quicksand. Every time she reached for them she started to sink, but somehow never got any closer to what she wanted to remember. It was awful.

  Taking a deep breath, Jamison told herself to calm do
wn. But it was easier said than done, even when she was distracted by the delicious scent of the pillow she currently had her face buried in. It smelled warm and fresh, like citrus mixed with the wild saltiness of the ocean.

  It smelled, she realized with no small amount of apprehension, like Ryder.

  Which was a crazy thought, she assured herself. If she was in anyone’s bed, it was probably Jared’s, while he crashed somewhere else. Her brother might trust Ryder and the other guys with his own life, but he’d made it clear early on that he wasn’t nearly as trusting with his sister’s virtue. His over-protectiveness had driven her crazy when she’d been younger, drove her even crazier now. But at the same time, she couldn’t help appreciating it. There was something to be said for knowing that when she was with him and the rest of the band, she was safe.

  She sat up gingerly, looked around. She couldn’t see much in the dark, but what little she could see made it obvious that she wasn’t on the tour bus. The bed was way too big, the room far too opulent. She was definitely in a hotel, and from the looks of it, in one of the fanciest rooms in the place.

  Which meant she was probably back in the guys’ hotel suite. Jared had mentioned that they only stayed on the tour bus if they were on the move. If they were in the same city for more than one show, the label usually put them all up at a hotel.

  Knowing she wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep until she knew for sure where she was, Jamison pushed off the covers and climbed carefully to her feet. The room spun around her a little bit, but she didn’t feel nauseous. Just thirsty and headachy.

  She reached for the bedside lamp, switched it on, then cursed as the pain in her head exploded one hundred fold. After slapping at the lamp until she managed to turn it off again, she sank onto the bed for a second and waited for the pain to subside. As she did, she cursed herself. What on earth had made her think partying like a rock star would be a good idea?